Crazy, crazy birds.

I went to Ben's house yesterday and parked my car under a tree, which I found out later was a tree that birds use as a toilet... crap! Literally!

My car was dotted with little white splatters of bird poop, and I think the tree also decided to get in on the act by dropping its nuts and whatever else was hanging on the tree, onto the roof, bonnet, and back of my car.

To make things worse, the little white bullets of evil that came out of those birds that hit my car's sides, dripped all the way down, e.g. on the doors. Oh please have mercy!

I should have known something was up when, as I parked and started walking away from my car, some guy standing in the other yard was smirking at me. I thought it was just because I smelled funny. Or maybe because my fly was undone (that happens often too, forgetful silly me), but I didn't feel a breeze, so it mustn't have been that.

He should have warned me! My poor car! If you poop on my car you might as well poop on my head! But then again I'd already been pooped on the head several times before. I'm just a target I know... Perhaps I offended some bird when I was younger, ate too much eggs or something a rather, and the word's just spread around.

The most memorable target practise session for the birds happened when the city of Melbourne was still young. Federation Square was not in existence, train tickets had holes punched in them, Flinders St had a Hungry Jacks inside it, and I was still in grade 4. And while on the way of being shown the arcade gaming venues by my then high-school aged cousin (Street Fighter was the bomb back then), this was the time the winged beasts decided to strike with accuracy that was comparable with anti-terrorist snipers waiting in the shadows.

But shadows were not to be seen during this moment; it was noon and everything was illuminated – out in the open. It was their day. And not mine.

I bopped along Swanston St, taking in at all the new sights and sounds that a 9 year-olds find interesting - the many clocks at the train station, the beeping and clicking of traffic lights and crossings, a few scraggly looking guys sitting in front of the shops. I might have been walking slowly or fast, I can't recall. But as I passed the first bank ATMs as I walked away from the station, I felt something that I had never felt before.

Something landed right in the middle of my head. As in RIGHT IN THE MIDDLE OF MY HEAD. So perfectly did it land, that there were no drips, no spills, that as I walked another few metres, my brain failed to register that there was foreign material just above it.

"What was this cold, viscous, jelly like thing...?” I thought to myself. Because my cousin was older and taller, I was sure he'd know.

I tugged his shirt.

"Is there something on my head?" I asked.
"Heh. Oh. Hmm... What the?"
"On my head what is it?"

There was a feeling of impossibility. I remember looking up and seeing a roof and some cover over the footpath, and my cousin probably remembered that too. How could this be? Why is there bird turd on my head? Could a bird actually bend it like Beckham?

"You got shat on by a bird." He replied
"What's a 'shat'?"

We walked into the nearest fast food store that had plenty of free napkins/serviettes, and the evidence was removed. The day continued on as normal, but that incident is something that will be etched in my mind forever. Ah those birds... crazy, crazy birds...

So if you see my climbing a tree trying to get revenge, please don't be surprised. A little boost helping me up the branches would be much appreciated though :)

Cosy

It's nice to find a place you can just curl up in.

Cang's Dog

I never caught its name. But it was under the table after the barbeque.
Maybe it was after some food.

Good things come in threes

Playing soccer at the Melbourne Uni hockey pitch can be memorable, but yesterday’s game was quite out of the ordinary.

I rocked up to the pitch after work in the late afternoon, decked out in my new Ronaldinho No. 10 Barcelona top, to meet up with my soccer buddies. They were already settled into playing a game with a bunch of other people, who refused to let more players in the game!

From afar I heard them mention they “only wan 7 players a team” with an accent from some southeast Asian country. This was of course hard to believe as the other half of the hockey field was completely empty!

As I was ready to give them a go, I knew it wasn’t worth it. So the others and I played with more hospitable players playing on the opposite side.

When we began playing with these new,friendlier guys, a crowd of high school aged kids started hanging out on the end that I was scoring goals at. They seemed to be there for some hockey tournament/practise later that night, and were quite keen spectators. Their loud and rowdy nature could be heard all over the pitch.

(In your best imagined Aussie accent)
“Oh, mate, who’s playin?”
“Hey man I can’t see anyone, but there’s a guy in a Giggs shirt”
“Oh yeh, and Ronaldo!”
“That’s not Ronaldo you idiot, that’s Ronaldinho”
“Hey Ronaldinho, score a goal mate. Give us a wave”

Yes, I think they were referring to me. So not to disappoint, I upped the tempo and scored, and the kids let us know how they felt.

“Waaa, go Ronaldinho”
“Give us a wave mate!”
“Score another one!”

And score another one I did; a cracker of a goal with my left foot after making a good turn, edging it past a couple of defenders.

“Yeh! Ronaldinho’s on a hat trick”
“Pass the ball to Ronaldinho!”
“Give us a wave Ronaldinho!”

Of course the comments did go both ways; when I mistouched a ball or someone took a ball off me they let us know about it.

“Oh, that’s not good enough Ronaldinho.”
“Give it to Giggsy he can do better.”
“That’s disappointing man…”
“Wave back man…”

All said in a very loud and very audible tone, down to the other side of the ground.

When the hockey coach whistled and signalled that in 5 minutes teenage girls waving hockey sticks will come on the pitch and remove us with force, I knew I had to focus to get that elusive 3rd goal.

Some nice passing (thanks to good team mates) led to a chance, and I wasn’t letting this one go… GOAL! Top right hand corner, and it just managed to squeeze in!

“Yeahh, Hat Trick for Ronaldinho!”
“Give us a wave!!!”
“Man that guy is good looking” (note: I may have made this line up)
“Good stuffffff!”

So after celebrating the hat-trick in a reasonable fashion, I finally gave those guys a wave, and realised what home crowd support can actually do for players. They supporters can make it known when you improving, and their cheering can also make you feel like you can do absolutely anything.

Read more on Ronaldinho

Let sleepy dogs sleep

Dale the dog looks like he's about to nod off on this warm summer's day.

Broken Pot

Don't worry, there are more where they came from.

Dazed and confused.

The way home is sometimes not what you expect

Squizz

I was going to do another blog but I decided to cop out and do this question thing on Miss L's blog craponomy.

1. What did you do in 2005 that you’d never done before?
Lodge a tax return. If you don't need to do it, why would ya?

2. Did you keep your New Year’s resolutions, and will you make more for next year?
I didn't make any new years resolutions, and I won't make any for this year!

3. Did anyone close to you give birth?
My cousin. And that makes me a cousin-uncle. Or a Kunkle.

4. Did anyone close to you die?
Not quite.

5. What countries did you visit?
Australia. And Australia. Would you consider Glen Waverly to be another country as it's quite far?

6. What would you like to have in 2006 that you lacked in 2005?
A date.

7. What dates from 2005 will remain etched upon your memory, and why?
January 17. Started full time work!
March 3. University graduation.

8. What was your biggest achievement of the year?
Graduating Uni! Staying at work for a whole year! Woohoo!

9. What was your biggest failure?
Not slowing down during amber lights at traffic lights... I know.... it'll be the cause of my downfall...

10. Did you suffer illness or injury?
Hayfever strikes regularly.

11. What was the best thing you bought?
A new shiny red car.

12. Whose behavior merited celebration?
People who quit smoking.

13. Whose behavior made you appalled and depressed?
Those who started up smoking again after quitting.

14. Where did most of your money go?
Did I mention a new shiny red car already?

15. What did you get really, really, really excited about?
Well I didn't really get that excited about the car, more excited about my D70! Ok ok, both were pretty exciting!

16. What song will always remind you of 2005?
Home - Michael Buble

17. Compared to this time last year, are you:
(a) Happier or Sadder? Happier
(b) Thinner or Fatter? Fatter
(c) Richer or Poorer? Financially richer.

18. What do you wish you’d done more of?
Exercise. *holds gut* Who wants to play more soccer at the Melbourne Uni hockey pitch?

19. What do you wish you’d done less of?
Procrastinating.

20. How will you be spending Christmas?
Sleeping.

21. Did you fall in love in 2005?
I did mention that car right? But if you mean people then probably not...

22. How many one-night stands?
one. With an N appended at the start (thus spelling None, for those who can't spell)

23. What was your favorite TV program?
Smallville! Woooo! Lana Lang is a babe.

24. Do you hate anyone now that you didn’t hate this time last year?
Noo, I love everybody!

25. What was the best book you read?
Superman: Secret Identity by Busiek and Immonen.

26. What was your greatest musical discovery?
That I can play Coldplay songs on the guitar. And that Backstreet Boys songs are out of my range.

27. What did you want and get?
A car.

28. What did you want and not get?
Super powers.

30. What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you?
21st baby! On the actual birthday I didn't do anything, just like my 0th birthday.

31. What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying?
Another 6 months in a year.

32. How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2005?
Business casual and whatever I could find in my closet.

33. What kept you sane?
Work. It gave a structure to my day.

34. Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most?
Thierry Henry. His fight against racism in football, and his great skills.

35. What political issue stirred you the most?
Those Japanese need to lay off those whales. Eat something else that reproduce quicker and can be farmed.

36. Who did you miss?
Patrick Vieira... and so do the rest of the Arsenal Football Club *sob*

37. Who was the best new person you met?
I met lots of new people at work. But none of them were that good... but umm... best new person... would have to be... Ally, she got closer to North London than anyone I knew in 2005! (North London being the home of Arsenal FC, and her living in Chel$ki, woops i mean Chelsea...pfft)

38. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2005:
Money doesn't grow on trees. They grow in banks.

39. Quote a song lyric that sums up your year:
"But Belle, Je ne comprend pas français,
So you’ll have to speak to me some other way"
Belle - Jack Johnson

Peekaboo

Peekaboo.
Someone's twenty-two.
I wonder who.
Do you have a clue?
He likes red but also the colour blue.
He supposedly lives where the cows go moo.
Last year he didn't get the flu.
He's got a car that's fairly new.
And on it, the birds thought they'd poo.
He didn't know what to do.
So he thought he'd get rid of it with his shoe.
It didn't quite work, so boo hoo... *sob*
Do you need a reminder or a cue?
I know who it is, do you know too?
;)

Happy New Years

Bloody building was in the way...