Ah Chew

TV is chewing gum for the eyes.
— Frank Lloyd Wright

Have you ever been in an elevator, and touched a chewie that's been stuck behind those hand rail things? It's quite disgusting. It's also quite surprising that it happens a lot at work!

I know my work building has plenty of elevators, but for people to still do something like that is pretty low. So low that they should be shot. Not just ordinary rifles with bullets. Maybe a gun with used chewies that's still got fresh saliva on it.

Muwahhahaha. *laughs in an evil manner*

I've felt those chewing gums a few times, and I go straight to the toilet to wash off the icky feeling that it leaves me. But does television give me the same feeling after I watch it?

I'd be lying if I said it didn't give me that icky feeling watching some shows. I'm not a big fan of the Big Brother TV shows. It definitely doesn't do George Orwell's book 1984 any justice. I know they reference it because "Big Brother" was the entity that could see everything you're doing - and if the George Orwell Big Brother was the TV Big Brother, oh boy, I think that show would be more like a boot camp instead of what it is now.

The whole year level read the book 1984 back when I was in year 10. We also watched a film adaptation of the book, and it was more dark and macabre than flaunty and voyeuristic. The film wanted to teach you something, whereas it's small screen counterpart wanted you to SMS away and make them rich!

But chewing gum isn't something that you'd want to fill you up is it? If that was the case, I'd bring a pack with me and it'd last me the week! I could microwave the chewing gum and it would be nice and melty, and instead of cheese on toast - chewie on toast! Yum yum. Much better than I-Can't-Believe-It's-Not-Butter. I wonder if they'd make chewing gum with a Chicken Parmigiana flavour... Would it be as tasty and nutritious for you? o_O

I bet watching shows like Desperate Housewives and The OC doesn't exactly doesn't fill your brain with mind expanding knowledge. You know... hypothetically... if I were to watch the OC, it would probably be just for a hit of Rachel Bilson :)

Chewies are there to chew when you're bored. You can also watch TV when you're bored. There are probably many things you can also do when you're bored - like read, or knit, or play pranks on your unsuspecting workmates with chewing gum. (And if you're reading, sorry about the chair boss!)

Even dentists also say that chewing gum is good for you. Just don't go to the optometrist. And That old female tennis player Liz Smiley says chewing Extra is good for you. Do you think they actually meant something when they hired someone with a last name SMILEY for something related to your mouth, haha! Crazy advertisers...

And if TV is actually like chewing gum - my advice is probably not to watch too much of it... it might send you running to the toilet!

....because chewies have a laxative effect! (for the slow people...)